What about "Them"?

Aug 17

1 min read

A word commonly used to encapsulate the details and minutiae of relationships is Nature.

"What is the nature of your relationship?" "It was just in their nature." "They came about naturally." "Act natural." All things we've probably heard or questions we've probably posed.

One might wonder, however, can a relationship, of any kind, ever be "natural"? Does one person always want something, either consciously or subconsciously, from another? Who's interests do we have at heart? Is it even possible for it to be anybody but ourselves?

Well in that same line of questioning I might add: are the varying "natures" of our closest relationships actually reflections of our inner most desires?

It has been said that we are who we surround ourselves with. Well, what if WHY we surround ourselves with who we do, is the key to understanding what we truly want?

What do you think...?

5 Comments

Guest

Oct 23

I feel like if you start thinking about looking to other people as mirrors you won't really be able to learn anything about yourSELF. Instead of looking inwards and reflecting, your vision of self will be like a mixed jenga tower collage of other people's selves.

Guest

Sep 21

This question kind of reminds me of the argument between nature and nurture. To what extent does our supposed "nature" direct who we are drawn to and to what extent do our experiences (nurture) further impact who we then seek out? I think it's hard to say that people are intrinsically drawn to one another, but it also makes a lot of sense that you surround yourself, subconsciously, with the qualities you want or admire.

Guest

Sep 07

To answer that question with another question: what if we do, in fact subconsciously, do everything in a self-serving manor? So what? If you're talking about these questions through the lens of relationships, maybe the best way to tell if you are with the right person is by thinking about what actually is most important to YOU. Asking yourself this question could be kind of a litmus test. If what you care about is your partner or what is best for them, then what you have is genuine, hypothetically. If your wants are more selfish then maybe it's not the person for you. To me, a relationship should make you want to put somebody else above yourself at sometimes. There's…

Guest

Sep 21

Replying to

This is definitely an interesting spectrum to judge relationships with. I think you're right that selflessness is a component crucial to relationships. But I also think some people, for one reason or another, just think differently. Some people think selflessly more often than others. This doesn't mean people aren't compatible. But I think that when you're asking yourself relationship questions like these it's important to think about who considers who more in general and even more important to decide if you're willing to raise or lower your standards accordingly.

Guest

Aug 18

This is a personal example, but in my relationship I worry that I’m putting in too much effort. In my past I’ve had issues with the other person not putting in as much effort. I think I put in so much extra effort in these cases because I’m trying to show the other person what I want for myself. To the end of this question: maybe the nature of our relationships can reveal the nature of ourselves.